Nature verses the local grocery...

Thursday, May 21, 2015

TRAILS of OLD: Baby in the BATH

Yes, I am getting old-ER, vintage, senior, aged, elderly, mature, decrepit (no, let’s NOT use that one!), the list goes on.  But what does that really mean?  Doubt I can cram that into a post, but here goes an old college try. Wonder who remembers that cliché?!  Per usual, I digress – most likely a dis-ease part and parcel of all those cute little terms aforementioned... 

There's a cliche that comes to my mind of late; Don't throw out the Baby and the Bathwater".  Though my writing teacher might entertain immediate eye-twitching at the hint of the word cliché, they can sometimes gather-in a melange of ideas that give their own, unique idea, thus expressing more depth and power to a thought with less verbiage. (Now THERE is a class I need to take).  They can then, actually present a more succinct expression of an idea, though this may seemingly appear to be a contradiction in terms.  Or not.  Now, for the old college try defines vintage as; “A period in which something was made or was begun.”  Okay; I am then – vintage, but so is everyone, correct? / defines mature as; “Fully developed in body or mind, as a person.”  Well, again, a definition generally applicable to most people.  says aged means; “Undergone the effects of time, improving as a result.”  Wow, my new favorite website!  But seriously, again a word that is not so different from the masses – of general (my emphasis) adults in society.  defines elderly as; “Being past middle age and approaching old age; rather old.” Well, okay, not my favorite website.  But still, not quite herding ALL grey-hairs into a far-off nursing home with stinky feet and Pablum for lunch.  AHA!  How many of you “adults” remember Pablum?  See – digression-be-good!  says decrepit means “Worn out or ruined because of age or neglect.”  What does Google know – it’s VERY young!

The point here is...“Throwing the baby out with the bathwater.” If ‘we’ older folks are so much like all the other ‘folks’ (definitively, that is), why is it our/my world is more an alien one lately, than a familiar one where we are all in the same boat; (my writing teacher is now leaving the cliché-room red-eyed and screaming)?  But – a valid question, nonetheless.

I think the simple answer may allude to the simple premise of ‘volume’.  There is not room for newspapers on every corner and the addition of all electronic stores that put out computers and other communicative devices that now fill the edges of city roads and malls of all sizes. 

There may not be room for the large areas needed for corrals that maintain horses and mules next to the much larger acres needed for John Deere tractor companies to display their monsters-on-wheels (that cost LOTS MORE to ‘feed’) and the dozens of immense ‘dealer lots’ displaying dizzying amounts of vehicle designs and types (again – the hay versus gas discussion for another post).

Selling everyday ladies clothes that cover up most female body parts along side current everyday clothes that generally appear more erotic than warm or ‘ready-to-wear’ (remember the first batch of polyester fashions coined ‘ready-to-wear?), might overwhelm store space at Macys and Target.

Baby AND bathwater.  Why not keep some of the old AND some of the new/current everything. Then, we might feel less ‘alien’; the newer ‘demographics’’ would be used to our saggy bodies perusing the isles at Macy’s and WalMart, buying what would no longer be ‘weird’ clothes, due to familiarity!  And, the more ‘alien’ available products might please our ‘group’.  Gee, our group might actually be a part of the ‘now’.  So just maybe – this chasm between the aged and the newbie’s…may be corporately generated; a deep thought. 

To my ageing logic, our current world would seem less alien - not only to the group ‘belonging’ to these weird clothes/phones/furniture/animals, etc. but also to the newer generations who sometimes (maybe moretimes) tend to view the largest age group of Americans existing as…something less than an errant variety of predator from some Jurassic Park redo…gone astray.

Instead, the small come-back of the now ‘alien’ things of our generation, are labeled “retro” and set aside as a style, a throwback design, something unconnected to the present reality of – I dare repeat, the largest demographic group in the nation.

Let it be known here and forever…we are real; we are intelligent; we are experienced;  we are buyers and would like to be able to buy some of the ‘things’ we know as ‘real’.
But – if tossing the baby AND bathwater works for the now, the new age, the cell phone citizens of now-land, then who am I to question…..  I am - my ‘group’ is; WE are - after all, just the babies…

One of my favorite - oldies-but-goodies, comes to mind. But I wonder if the now-adults remember the form of communication used here.....

As always, NATURE prevails.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

TRAILS of LOVIN': Supersize a Hug

We’ve all heard the phrase…”There’s no free lunch”.  Not so today…at McDonald's #15874 in Springfield, Missouri at 2115 E. Independence, just off the James River Freeway.

When we first ordered and the friendly cashier said…”Your meal’s free…for Lovin", I’m sure my look mirrored the three heads she instantly grew!  Once she repeated her request with a big smile and a slower speed, explaining that a hug, a joke, a handshake to a stranger…would pay our tab…well, you get the picture. Any excuse to hug my DH and soul-mate extraordinaire does not get past me too quickly, and the hugs/smiles/loads of good “Lovin” began.

The people ahead of me had a similar…”is this for real” expression; then the same big smiles.  The exchange between them - and us, a few minutes later was neat as well.

The point being, for a few minutes in that restaurant yesterday, “Some Lovin” took hold and spread amongst a few people in this world.  We all experienced a few perfect moments, as this blogger has written about before.

Life is all about ‘perfect moments’.  This is a dangerous world including much unhappiness; death, disaster, poverty, wars, diseases, the possibility of space objects stopping by to spend a few memorable moments creating havoc on our little piece of rock.  It’s the “roses” along the path; the “perfect moments” that make it all more than worthwhile.   The new-born foal, the first cry your child shares with your air, a life-time kiss at the Alter, the ethereal song of a Cetacean as they breach the shimmering waters of our precious oceans. 

And yes, a hug at McDonald's…on a stressful day of house-hunting, on a bright, late winter day in stunning southwest Missouri…USA, was just such a “perfect moment”.  Kudos to the manager at this McDonald's who implemented this promo.

My Son thinks we spend way too much time at McDonald's, and maybe we do. But at 67 and 71, their many salads we consume, help ease the tiredness of our late days and nourish us.   Their delicious coffee brightens many a morning for me when life…could be a bit easier. I’ve heard many renditions of the movie “Supersize Me”; and I’m sure it has its value.  And yes, I’ve seen people feed their 14 month old child in a high-chair a bunch of French fries while they consumed a huge cheeseburger.

But today, the perfect moment we experienced at this McDonald's, warranted a small note to let the world know that “perfect moments” in life, can happen anywhere, anytime, anyplace.  Keep your eyes open and your heart ready to receive one; they are worth the trip down this lovely road we call…life, here on planet Earth. 

'Thank you, McDonald's’, on Independence Road, for giving us a ‘perfect moment’ in our day, yesterday.

NATURE prevails….even at McDonald's!

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

TODAY: THE TRAIL between yesterday and tomorrow

14 January 2015

It’s settled!  The votes are in, the totals tallied, the facts are indisputable. TODAY – that tenuous, ethereal, so often philosophized subject of time and space as it relates to our Earthly realities, is finally understood. It is real!  It is here. It is occurring, to each of us – to every living atom in the Universe...every day.

Or is it?

Physically:  TODAY is finitely defined as the timeline between 12:01 AM – that absolute moment after midnight, till it ends – abruptly, at midnight/12:00 PM; exactly 23 hours and 59 minutes of relative time and space (as observed on Planet Earth that is), through which every atom known must exist.  It is known as a day, 1/365th of a year, 1/30th (or so) of a month.   It is a time when we celebrate birthdays, any myriad of anniversaries, holidays; we spend this time in imaginable and even unimaginable manners of living.

Sometimes, these 24 or so of our measured hours seem to last forever.  How many daydreaming schoolchildren contemplate their entire lives during those few hours; how many decade-long wars are stopped and also started within that time-frame?!  Lives are joined in marriage, ended in divorce, graduations come deeply honored as do epitaphs of lives fully lived…or lives rued for their horrific endings.
Life happens…during TODAY.

Philosophically:  TODAY can be defined, comparatively, as a moment, as in today is the beginning of the rest of my life. Philosophers expend reams of paper discussing the reality of TODAY; is it a brief moment in the infinite time line of forever?  Some Buddhist and other Eastern spiritual circles discuss today as if it might actually be forever, depending on your state of stillness, connectedness to your inner divinity which can be defined as having no time/space, thus maybe allowing our beings to momentarily, have a foot (so to speak) in both events of reality, if that can be stretched as a possible actuality.

Authors have also spent reams of paper trying to stop time; “The Day the Earth Stood Still’, for example. We are fascinated with time travel, as if that was not a contradiction in terms.  Time and space are inextricably tied together, aren’t they?!  Or maybe…not?

I say that TODAY…is non existent.  It is a fallacy, an attempt we humans have construed to try to stop time/space so we can further our egos in any multiple manner of ways.  It allows us to gather in, gives us a space to be still, when in essence, time is truly never stillIt would not be time then, would it?

I suggest that TODAY, at least philosophically, exists only in the absence of YESTERDAY and TOMORROW, which as we know time, is impossible, correct?  If it did not, then how could my birthday exist…in all three time frames?  It is only one event, correct?  Last I checked, I was not related to The Trinity.  Think about that.

As I write this on January 14th, 2015, I am writing this in TODAY, correct?  Then how does that etched-in-time document become something in YESTERDAY’S place…TOMORROW?  It is a conundrum.  But if we’re standing in naked truth here (at least for a split second of TODAY), how do we truly…define TODAY?  Is it…definable?

That question may go on with the forever of TOMORROWS, as it has with the forever of YESTERDAYS.  It will continue to be discussed to death by we humans who could not even answer intelligently, any question about forever, since it is incomprehensible in a time/space based human brain. In mine, anyway.  I’ve tried; it is a tune for naked insanity!  Makes me think of the cartoons where they think so hard the head begins to smolder and then quickly explodes into flames. Yes; great description of that thought process. 

So the next time you sit down with your blank paper, ready to dump all those chores and bucket-list items onto a piece of lowly paper, try not to think about WHEN those things will come to fruition.  It…may ruin your DAY.

 NATURE Prevails.

Sunday, December 14, 2014


I am moved to write something to commemorate this special season, have been for several days now. But my muse is missing, lost in action; well, very LITTLE action, is the point!

So I persevered. ‘Maybe someone else has said something worth repeating.’ I pondered; now there’s a thought!

So I surfed, and searched and read and searched some more.  So many heart-wrenching, joyful, memorable stories out there.  The search alone, made my holiday heart quite full.

But I doubt that posting links to all these sites would be something I could sleep with tonight (I like to sleep, - not my fault, I’m Italian).  Maybe, re-write all those…OKAY!  Okay, I’m ‘reaching’…a bit.

So…what to do?!

Then I came across some quotes – lots of them.  The more I read, the farther my muse hid in its Kozy Korner it so enjoys when the heat is on.  Not always though, but I digress, yet again. I do that often. Usually when my muse is unavailable.  Okay! Enough! Back to Christmas.

You remember, Christmas stories, right?  Right!  I can almost hear David Seville on the beginning of the record of Alvin and the Chipmunks, screaming “ALVIN!” to get him to start singing; same problem, different century.  And you all are most likely too young to recall that tune!  Alvin and the Chipmunks, I mean.

Alright, already…don’t get your wrapping paper all crumbled up – it’ll look funny around Mother’s present, for goodness sake!  So here are some quotes! With links, of course.

Many quotes on this site;

“Christmas, my child, is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas.”   Dale Evans Rogers

“Christmas is most truly Christmas when we celebrate it by giving the light of love to those who need it most.”  Ruth Carter Stapleton

“He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.”  Roy L. Smith

“A goose never voted for an early Christmas.”  Irish Saying  
“I wish we could put some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.”  Harlan Miller

“Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.”  Hamilton Wright Mabi

“Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind.”  Mary Ellen Chase

“Peace on earth will come to stay, when we live Christmas every day.”  Helen Steiner Rice

This quote stood out as I searched this site; : “When you extend your goodwill in every direction, regardless of circumstances, you begin to see that we are all one.”  Lao-Tzu

One of my favorites...
“I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good - will to men!”
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Speaking of old, familiar carols, here is an unusual and lovely pairing of voices...

And last, but not least: “The only real blind person at Christmas-time is he who has not Christmas in his heart.”  Helen Keller

Remember, way back a few words, Christmas stories, right?  My original pursuit?  Well, I think this one is a keeper.  Enjoy.

PEACE  ON EARTH is a common wish during Christmas. To my thinking, this prayer/poem sums up this - sometimes, elusive state of mind:


Make me a channel of your peace.
Where there is hatred let me bring your
Where there is injury, your pardon, Lord
And where there's doubt, true faith in

Oh, Master grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love with all my soul.

Make me a channel of your peace
Where there's despair in life, let me bring
Where there is darkness, only light
And where there's sadness, ever joy.

Make me a channel of your peace
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned
In giving to all men that we receive
And in dying that we're born to eternal
 Francis of Assisi, 13th cent

An interesting, ethereal and somewhat different rendition of this prayer/poem in song. 
Nature prevails...especially this season

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Missouri Trails: We made it!

We finally moved to Missouri.  It was a long, back-straining, tiring journey for us 'oldsters', but worth every aching muscle!

The garden area is already tilled, complete with lovely rabbit leaved-over donations from a new friend (THANK YOU!). The soil is promising; dark, loose, very few rocks.  Next year's tomato crop (among other munchies) are filling our dreams.

Don't know if we will have chickens again, but have already connected with someone who does;  we're enjoying pretty eggs, varying shades of brown and blue. Yum!

The fall colors here are stunning, same as I recall from my youth in N. J.; the oaks - various shades of brown and rust - only on the top so far.  The Maples in our yard are fading from bright green to a softer yellowish tone.  And the lovely leaves are all over the grass-covered, moist ground - one round already picked up with the mower and 'melting' quickly in the garden soil.

"Wildlife" is prevalent - even here in town.  I re-homed a large Waking Stick from the porch to the large Maple nearby; he was quite cooperative.  A Possum scurried through the back yard last week.  Spiders of all shapes, sizes and color pop up everywhere.  (NOT my favorite 'wildlife'...but trade-offs in life are a distinct reality)  No worries - we've discovered that a nice mist of Lavender and Peppermint, generously sprayed in pertinent areas not only freshens the indoor air but makes living in our space a distasteful exercise for the local arachnid population; a perfect healthy, democratic compromise!

Armadillo 'remains' litter the sides of the highways.  We always seem to have a cute little bunny sitting somewhere in our yard; they occupy many yards along our evening exercise route.

We enjoyed a lovely day-trip this week to Lake of the Ozarks.  A water moccasin convinced DH he probably desired a different rock for his fishing spot! But it was an 'agreeable' interaction...

As I rested nearby watching DH 'test' his new fishing pole along the water's edge near the boat ramp, I received a degree in 'economics'. For about 2 hours, I watched as literally over a MILLION dollars worth of stunning/large/brand new looking BASS boats were pulled off the water.  The smallest one appeared to be worth over $50,000 (if our recent visit to a local Bass Pro Shop was any indication).  Granted, it was the finish of a Bass Tournament. But still...I was awed and stunned by the amount of money represented in these play toys.  And this was not even a holiday weekend crowd. This nation's current 'recession' does not - apparently, affect a large part of the population. I now better understand the source of funding for the inside and outside decor of Bass Pro Shops! 

The rain here is awesome, too; sometimes for days. Soft, relaxing, life-giving to all the vast miles of green in every direction. Makes for relaxing sleeping.

We're home, finally. The Ozarks; where...

Nature truly prevails.

Sunday, August 31, 2014

i am I

i am the depth of your desire
i am the calm in your storm,
i am the strength in your courage...
i am I.

i am the joy in your laughter
i am the kindness in your Loving,
i am the map in your journey...
i am I.

i am the roots of your growth
i am the sadness in your tears,
i am the light in your loneliness...
i am I.

i am the eternity in your forever
i am the energy in your work,
i am the warmth in your humility...
i am I.

i am the tune in your song
i am the feeling when you hug,
i am the power in your energy...
i am I.

i am the softness in your touch
i am the taste in your appetite,
i am the Awareness in your prayers...
i am I.

i am the sureness in your walking
i am the reality in your dreaming,
i am the guardian of your boundaries...
i am I.

i am the tone of your longing
i am the words in your story,
i am the meaning in your words...
i am I.

i am the center of your being
i am the wistfulness of your sigh,
i am the flight in your wishes...
i am I.

i am the lighthouse of your mind
i am the center of your direction,
i am with you always...
i am I.

NATURE prevails...

Friday, May 2, 2014



I walk in and out of this overwhelmingly immense space in my heart this past week.  A space filled with echoes; echoes of soft, silky fur, piercing blue eyes with gold centers, a little pinkish-white nose, a white face and white, delicate paws. Echoes of that well-known soft vibration under my hand – always and every  night, against my cheek, in the dark, that reassured my fears from a nightmare or the early AM anxiety knots in my stomach before a stressful day ahead.  Echoes of her different tones of kitty-speak, a special communication shared with only that small bundle of Love and uniqueness I knew as my precious LILYLOU, Snowshoe kitty-friend of 18 years.

How does one define or articulate a Love so deep and abiding that it was/is threaded, deeply woven into the fabric I call my life?  How do I cope with that space, that void, that nothingness that demands recognition each and every time I look at her pictures, now?  That unbearable incessant echo that pierces my soul as I fluff my pillow for the night ahead…without her.


We bought a wood stove in 1996.  In that barn where it stood, a tiny Siamese-type kitten screamed from a far corner the entire time it took to decide on our purchase. When we asked about the kitten, we were told she wasn't going to live long due to a medical problem.  She rode home completely encased and relaxed in the palm of my hand, mouth engaged the entire trip!  That mouth never quit over the years; I recall her trip to the emergency hospital in Denver, a 4 hr trip, during which she continued to share her opinion...the entire time!  The medical condition, by the way, was minor/easily fixed; the kitten...quickly crawled into our hearts and locked the door behind her, forever.

Lilylou was brave through her first major illness which began shortly before her above-mentioned trip to an emergency hospital, and ended a week later with a feeding tube into her little belly.  She learned how to jump into my lap 4 times a day for the process that made her burp and feel satiated, even as unfamiliar and different as it was for her, at her 5 years of age.  After 3 months, her so-dearly-loved ice-cream, finally convinced her to eat normally again, and the tube went away.

Four years ago, an antibiotic resistant bacterium attacked her sinuses and again – brought her to her little, delicate, Snowshoe-kitty knees.  Almost dying on the operating table, she fought the good fight, again reared her life-energy and continued her path back to health.

Soon after, Arthritis crept into her legs, paws and shoulders and her struggle began.  I watched her begin to limp – once in awhile at first.  At first, she cried a little if we forgot to leave a night-light on between her kitty-pan and our bed. 

Two years ago, after taking her on a day-long trip with a few nights stay over in a strange place, she stopped eating and drinking till after returning home.  I later realized she was too old, too scared in her dimming sight and waning hearing, to cope with the unfamiliarity and strangeness of new surroundings.  It culminated in a near Mega-colon attack which included several days of stress for her and a few trips to the vet. It was a wake-up call to my psyche; I began to 'prepare' in  my mind, though my heart avoided all and any attempts to connect with my intelligent and reasoned awareness of the nearing horror in the wings of her life...and ours.

A year or so ago, we found a Precious little pup; from the moment she walked in the door, she adopted Lily as her long lost friend.  She jumped on her, rubbed against her, did everything in her power to lavish Love on Lily - which Lily accepted in like manner; I have never seen anything like this behavior in my life.  Precious behaved coldly to the other 2 cats in the house at that time.

A few months ago, she began to leave me at night in favor of her own bed; I’d awake alone, my cheek cool against the night air, where her warm body used to lean into me throughout the night.

Then a few weeks ago, even the height of the bed frightened her as her vision and hearing worsened, as her weakening ability to withstand the pressure of even a few, small steps down to the floor, without pain, increased. 

A week ago, her digestive system balked – at both ends.  Though she continued to drink, any food ingested went right through her – even after days of antibiotics and special food.

The final straw, for my intelligence, was the distress she endured through a necessary bath to clean the results of her ill attempts to coordinate her kitty-pan with her uncooperative and worsening bowels. After 18 years of communication, my intelligence could no longer ignore her distress sounds; no longer not hear the pain in her cries, the tiredness in her energy, the weariness in her movements.  My intelligence finally over-ruled my heart’s need to continue to bury my nose in her beautiful fur, to smell, touch, hear and embrace her unmistakable Lily-love through all my senses, physical and intuitive.

My intelligence understands all the reams of reasoning that preempted her ‘demise’ – at my hand.  It understands the reasoning that supported – and still does, the purpose of preventing any further suffering, distress, waning bodily functions, arthritic pain that made her constantly move her little twisted paws as she attempted to find an elusive pain-less position. Her screams every night for the past 3 years as she attempted to find her way back to our bed at night – even with the lights on, as she dealt with her increasingly limited sight and hearing; alone in her increasingly scary kitty-world. My intelligence and all it’s mighty, fearless, feeling-less ego-centric knowing-ness…understands that this part of the life-journey - is a walk through time and space, an embodiment of constant change that must embrace loss and death...and all that life shows us, each and every moment we are physically aware. I understand…that I understand.

Lily lies at rest in our garden, in a sunny spot.  She so loved to solarize, particularly in her latter years. As my grieving allows, I will eventually plant bulbs, flowers and a small Amur Maple over her grave.  

As my grieving allows.

When and if…the echoes subside to distant shadows. 

When and if…my intelligence wins the final argument. 


Summer 1996 - April, 2014

Hasty, Colorado

NATURE prevails...